Moderation is not my friend: Why sugar is my devil.

Moderation is not my friend. I am an all or nothing kind of lady. Especially when it comes to sugary deliciousness.

But I want to live long enough to be able to force feed my grandchildren Pixie Stix before sending them home to their parents on a Sunday night. That means I need to be healthy and live long enough to get there. Only my body and the way I have lived stands in the way.

Am I going to be a bikini model? Probably not. Can I get myself down to a healthy and happy size, you betcha. Am I there now? Nope. But I’m working on it.

My hubby, myself and many of those close to us are doing some form of nutritional ketosis. Through drastically reducing our carb intake, our bodies now burn body fat for fuel instead of glucose. On the up side? Lots of steak. The down side? Bye bye carbs.

Maybe you are thinking, “I could give up bread, no problem.” And while I applaud your mighty armchair resolve, it is so much more than just giving up bread, it can be hard. Not until we started on this way of eating did I fully come to realize how much our society worships at the alter of the mighty carb. Carbs are in everything it seems. It the the base of that food pyramid that we all learn about in elementary school. But I have come to learn that so many bodies just can’t handle all those carbs, and my body is definitely one of those.

Eating this way has been really good for my body, it’s happy and thriving. There are so many delicious options, so many ways to fill our plates with proteins and healthy fats. My blood sugar is steady, my hormones are steady, my cravings have disappeared. These are all good things, but the devil always lurks on the dark. It is hard work and I have to be conscious of what and how I eat everyday and the changes to my body are slow, but steady.

My hubby, who used to scoff at the very idea of giving up carbs, has jumped on the keto bandwagon and dropped 25lbs in 2 months. Jerk. But he is a sexy jerk, so he gets a pass. I, doing the EXACT same way of eating, did NOT drop 25lbs in that same 2 months. Try more like 7lbs, on a good day, weighed naked and of course before breakfast and after a good pee.

My best friend and her hubby are also eating keto, and she is like me- if we decide to have an unsanctioned sugar treat, we are screwed. It’s not like we can have a Halloween candy or two and be right back on program. No, no, with us and our addiction-prone personalities, it’s more like one Halloween candy leads to three cookies, leads to “fuck it, chocolate cake you are mine.” And before you know it, you are filled with carbs, hating yourself and ready to take a two week spiral into carb-ville. And that would be OK if our bodies tolerated carbs, but she and I both have ridiculous hormone and metabolic issues that have caused all sorts of havoc, stress and pain in our lives, and carbs only makes it harder.

My sweet friend was at the store the other night, and surrendered to the sweet siren song of Snickers. On the drive home from the store, she popped one into her mouth, but with a moment of great resolve and clarity, realizing this would be her undoing, she spat that chocolate out, followed immediately by the entire bag of chocolate bites she just purchased….out the window of the car as she drove down the highway. Like a bra-less banchee driving down the highway screeching with liberation, she tossed the devil out the window and held it together.

A she described this, I laughed so hard and nearly choked to death on the water I was drinking, but I also admired her for her resolve. She nor I are at a point in our weight loss journey to be able to “enjoy sugar in moderation.” One day, but not now. So I take strength on her resolve.

Until the time I can manage that balance , I will seek out the delicious low carb treats, like these best cookies I have ever made, or a next best thing pecan pie. I know myself and know that the one sweet lapse will lead to the entire box of Oreos to the self loathing and self pity that prevents me from being the self I want to be.

Instead, I want to model to my children a positive body image, joy in food, and at the same time, consideration in the food you eat. It’s not perfect; it’s a work in process. I guess like me, I am a work in process. But this work of art that is my body cannot yet do sugar in moderation. Until then, like a growing number of people in my life, I keto on.

About Avoiding The Train Wreck

I like cheese. I am a odd duck, learning to parent my 3 kids while trying to ensure our world doesn't come to a crashing halt at any time. The chaos of our everyday in this home is like trying to prevent a colossal train wreck every single day. I provide pithy commentary on these daily adventures and I do not take myself too seriously. Pssst...neither should you. This is a place to continue my first (abandoned) attempts at blogging found here. I may also bring in a few previous posts from FB. And I like wine too.
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