Did you miss me? For the past 4 months I had been blogging over at the Total Makeover Challenge, a 4 month challenge I had been participating in. In the end, I came in second, not too shabby. But that wrapped up 2 weeks ago and I am bringing my writing back home. (At some point I will try to migrate my challenge blogging over to this site in case anyone wants some bed time reading).
Coming off an injury takes time. I had given myself over 4 weeks of rest from activity to rest a pinched nerve in my back and a janky shoulder (that is the official term, I believe). I may or may not have over-trained (again) near the end of the challenge and surprise- it turned out poorly.
This week I went back to yoga. I had been surprised by how much I had missed it. I was stressed and frustrated and all I wanted was to get back to my mat in that glorious heat. I had done a couple of deep stretch classes that had felt good and it felt the right like time to increase my activity. My tendency to seek my natural state of slothness was starting to dominate again, and I didn’t want to go back to that place.
This week I booked myself a Flow class at my studio. I don’t actually like Flow, I prefer a little more stillness in my practice, but it was the only class at the time I could make it to the studio. 10 minutes into the class, I remembered two things: 1. I really don’t like flow and 2: Coming off an injury sucks ass. Your brain thinks you can do all the things, but your body is a jerk and doesn’t want to do it.
My stiff and still very round body didn’t love that hour. I pushed as long as I could, but by about 40 minutes in, I was done. While the entire class was busy flowing in and out of poses, I had turned into the adult equivalent of the 6 year old t-ball player picking his nose and turning in circles in the outfield. I just lay on my mat, rocking back and forth in Happy Baby in my own little world, completely ignoring the rest of the class. Joan of Arc and Warrior flows? Nope, I am just going to lie here, thanks. Am I in Shivasana or have I passed out? It could go either way. As the largest woman at the studio (not just this class), I usually would have been worrying about what the other “normies” thought about the big lady rolling around in a ball on the floor. But fuck it, they don’t know my back story and I really didn’t care what they thought.
I will keep going and do more to build up my strength and stamina over time, but I am just glad to be active again, if only for 75% of a class at a time.